Uhm, Yeah Whateva.

Can't Wait, Mayne!!

2008-05-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

The Glow In The Dark Tour made me a N.E.R.D. fan in a major way. I didn't listen to their music at all before then and now I can't wait for June 10 when their new album "Seeing Sounds" drops. They performed this song and the crowd went, well, semi-wild lol. Austin was kinda wack during their set, but I got it in... yopp!!

Download N.E.R.D - Spaz

"Spaz if you want to!!"

AND...

Santogold had to grow on me, but she's dope too.

PEACE

Anxious.

2008-05-07T00:38:00.000-07:00

I can't help but to feel that my life is slowly inching away from me. In a mere five months, I will be 23 years old if the Lord says the same. Inside, I feel that I am so ready to move onto the next stage of my life which, prayerfully, will allow me to invest more time in my passions and intended businesses. However, I am caught up in the bureaucracies of school and work which hinder the manifestation of the aforementioned desires. Now, please don't get me wrong. I am so thankful to the good Lord that I have obtained a college education and a job that is waiting for me upon graduation, but I can't help but to feel that there is something greater that I should be pursuing. I feel that there is a definite change in the wind, but I am not sure if it is something God-breathed or something borne out of my own selfish will. All I know is that I do NOT want to miss out on something great that God has for me... I know that at this point in life I am where He wants me to be because every possible change regarding the future that I've considered is in direct contradiction with what I feel is His plan for me. Complicated. Yes. Yes Indeed! But oh GOD I'm ready to pursue my passions wholeheartedly, whether I fail or succeed, without any fear of stepping outside of Your Will. ARGH!!!!

I'm still against marriage...

Today I had a conversation with my friend. She asked me if I thought it was okay for her to marry some dude because she had an amicable relationship with his mother. She was joking, but I was serious when I told her that my opposition to marriage causes me to dissuade anyone from jumping the broom. She proceeded to reinform me that marriage is of God and that it is something that should be desired by those who seek to remain in the His Will (e.g., don't fight God if He calls you to be a wife). I know it sounds bitter, but I feel that marriage is just not for me at this point. I have been guilty of pushing my views off on other people, and yes, there is probably some fault in there somewhere. But the thought of being someone's wife makes me cringe! My friend also told me that since I don't believe in marriage, I must not believe in sex because that's reserved for married individuals. My response was shocking:

I don't believe in marriage, but I believe in consummating it.

I couldn't believe what had come out of my mouth! To the average person, premarital sex may not seem like a big deal. But for someone who had to come into a relationship with Christ on her own due to wariness from several avoidable self-inflictions, I understand that every action has consequences. For me, sex outside of marriage is one of those "non-negotiable" aspects of my faith. But my comment made me aware that I am on the cusp of waywardness! Oh no! There have been times when I've struggled to see the point in "saving myself" (what a lame term) but I feel that I would much rather be judged by man than condemned by God. What have been the reactions to a 22-year-old virgin? Ha. Laughter. Broken off relationships on the first date. But I've also gotten respect from guys who find a woman sticking to her morals admirable and attractive. So what does Lupe Fiasco have to do with it?

Lupe Fiasco represents the kind of guy that I wouldn't mind dating at this point. And I'm not speaking of a high-profile rapper with a solid bank account and any material thing that he desires at his disposal. From what I've read in interviews and whatnot, Lupe appears to be someone who knows that he can have pretty much whatever he wants handed to him, but realizes that these things do not make him and is therefore able to live without them if necessary. He's not afraid to think outside of the box and challenge others to do the same. He makes those things that are uncool cool. He's in a committed, monogamous relationship and makes sure that everyone (especially the groupies) are aware of it. Humble, smart and committed. Yep. If the Lord blesses me to meet anyone who meets these requirements then I MIGHT consider marriage. But only if God tells me to do it.

PEACE

The Glow In The Dark Tour Was...

2008-05-01T15:09:00.001-07:00

To say the least, the most dopetasterrific concert in the course of history!! I got a review, read :)

Join me as I journey down the road to reflections of... a Glow In The Dark Tour

LUPE FIASCO

- For starters, security was not on point... by the time the event staff told me to put away my camera I already had 35 pics and 6 videos. By the end of the night, I pulled off about 80 pics.

- I had some trouble finding my seat so one of the event staff members took my ticket to find someone who could help me find it. Well they disappeared with my ticket for a good 20 minutes, and for that period I casually strolled up to the general admission area (pretty much the front row) and enjoyed Lupe Fiasco's set until they located me and directed me to my seat just as he left the stage. WOW.

- Ibn Jasper can't be over five feet tall...

- Bishop G really does remind me of the cousin that you used to kick it with back in the day. He looks approachable.

- Sarah Green can SING...SIIING!! That girl absolutely killed a run at the end of Paris, Tokyo that garnered the loudest applause out of all of Lu's performances.

- Lupe defeated the "CP Time" phenomenon by starting his set ON TIME... I showed up at 7:10 thinking I had a good 45 minutes till the show started and got in the arena in just enough time to see Nikki Jean walk off the stage after performing "Hip Hop Saved My Life." Dude was OUT by 7:31. Dag.

- I think the punctuality threw everyone off... it was kinda sad to see Lupe performing to a theater that wasn't even a 1/3 of the way filled. A person that didn't know better would have assumed that he was a struggling opening act as opposed to an accomplished, grammy award-winning, gold record selling artist (man I sound like a groupie!)... but ah well. Those that were in attendance showed him love and gave him great audience participation. Songs performed: Hip Hop Saved My Life, Paris, Tokyo, Daydreamin', Kick, Push, Superstar, Streets on Fire, Fighters

N*E*R*D

- I wasn't that great of a fan of N*E*R*D prior to this concert, but within 45 minutes they made me into a believer! They opened up their set with a song from their upcoming album (dropping June 10) called "Anti", and now that's my mantra: "You so anti, you don't really matter!"

- Pharrell appeared to be displeased with the standstill audience. I'll admit, the audience was kinda wack during their set.

- Pharrell pulled 4 girls from the audience to dance on stage and I was jealous!! The front rows got lots of love from N*E*R*D. I still had great seats, so I wasn't mad.

- They performed another new song called "Spazz" that allowed more people to get on the stage and, well, spazz. It was entertaining to see Nikki Jean and Sarah Green get on stage and act out.

- Their drummers were dope!!

- After holding it down for 45 minutes, everyone walked off stage, except for Pharrell who jumped in the audience to give people hi-fives. Songs performed: Anti, Spazz, Lapdance, Rock Star, some other ones that I can't remember lol.

RIHANNA

- I'll admit, before Rihanna got on stage, I was prepared for boredom. I wasn't that big of a Rihanna fan at all. BUT... I gotta give it to her. Rihanna is actually a really good singer. And she is very beautiful... I think that she was one of the main reasons why I saw so many teenage boys around lol.

- She earned hecka cool points when she performed M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" and songs by Beenie Man.

- The only problem I had with her performance was that she had this persistent "Night at the Roxbury" head tick throughout her set.

- I actually got chills when she performed "Unfaithful"! WOW!

- After about 45 minutes, she exited the stage. Songs performed: Hate That I Love You, Please Don't Stop The Music, S.O.S., Unfaithful, Umbrella,Break It Off, Some other songs that I'm not aware of (but were dope nonetheless)

KANYE WEST

- Kanye took the stage about 45 minutes after Rihanna exited (they had to prepare his set).

- Kanye delivered nearly 2 straight hours of pure entertainment. His energy never let up and every song he performed made you want to just spaz out... you could have been the stiffest, most boring person in the entire universe but I guarantee that NO ONE was sitting during his performance.

- I tried to capture videos, but decided that I wanted to dance and enjoy the performance while I could.

- Kanye's performances followed a storyline: His spaceship had crashed on some distant planet and he had to figure out how to get back home. Each song was the soundtrack to everything that he encountered on his journey.

- Summation: Straight DOPE. Songs Performed: Homecoming, Get 'Em High, Jesus Walks, Stronger, Good Life, Golddigger, Spaceship, Champion, Hey Mama (2008 Grammy Remix), Diamonds From Sierra Leone, Touch the Sky (no Lupe :/), Flashing Lights, I Wonder, All Falls Down, Heard 'Em Say, Good Morning, Some others I can’t remember… I was too busy dancing lol. It was all a blur.

AUSTIN

- People aint up on MIA And Beenie Man here.

- I swear I was sittin' behind some 12 year olds... and their 40 year old parents...

- Man groupies were hitting on Matthew Santos during the intermissions (he sat in the audience and watched the rest of the concert)...

- I have never seen so many blonde extensions and tanned bodies in my life...

- Another summation: I got this from somebody else, but it's pretty accurate.

LOL... PEACE

What The Heehaw?!

2008-04-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

"Sources close to the hip-hop star tell me that it was West who ended the engagement after revealing to Phifer: “I just don’t think it is going to work out anymore.”

The 30-year-old entertainer even asked for his ring back!

The often-controversial rapper/producer got engaged to Phifer while overseas in the fall of 2006. The two met when Phifer worked as the assistant to West’s fulltime wardrobe stylist.
A graduate from the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising (FIDM) in California, Phifer is working on a clothing line and has already designed some dresses that have been worn by artists like Lil’ Mo. Sources close to the couple claim she was also helping West develop his forthcoming Pastelle clothing line. The Chicago-raised rapper had been dating Phifer on and off since 2002."

Man there really is no hope... say it ain't so! Dag, that was coldblooded 'Ye...major cool points deduction.

PEACE

Random Stuff... Bear With Me

2008-04-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break to blog. I like blogging. At first I thought it was kinda lame to sit behind a computer and write for people who don't give 2 cents about how your day went... but since I'm too lazy to get up and write in my diary I choose to open a new browser and record my thoughts for countless millions. So here are some random thoughts/observances... ENJOY!

The most beautifullest dunks i've seen in a while...

Nike SB Dunk Low 720 Degrees

These were featured on Ibn Jasper's blog... DOPE...

Speaking of Ibn.

Muslim boys are sessy...

I sho' don't know if this brother is Muslim... with a name like Ibn I just assumed (sorry...) Thank ya Jesus!

36 people shot in Chicago between Friday afternoon and Sunday evening...

"CHICAGO — The superintendent of the Chicago Police Department on Sunday blamed an excess of guns and gangs for a rash of 36 shootings over the weekend that killed and wounded victims from 13 to 65 years old. Nine people were killed, the police said, and at least 14 of the shootings were gang-related. Seven victims were juveniles, five of whom were out after the 11 p.m. city curfew." -- New York Times

"The stars are aligned/& the pack is colliding/& the plan is arriving/& shes out there smiling/& the fear is upon us/The skies tried to warn us/Your parents are goners/No children to mourn/& It's driving me crazy/This war is my lady/These bombs are our babies/& GOD is amazing..."

Maybe because he's from Chicago, but Lupe Fiasco's "Streets on Fire" started playing in my head when I heard this story. I guess people don't need a reason to kill anymore... how do you shoot a 65 year old?

180 PEOPLE GET SICK EATING AT CHIPOTLE... LOL

"KENT, Ohio — About 440 people now say they became ill after eating at Chipotle Mexican Grill in Kent. Kent Health Commissioner John Ferlito suspects the cause of the illness is a norovirus.
Officials have sent stool and food samples to the Ohio Department of Health to determine the cause. Test results might be available this week. The symptoms of norovirus typically include nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Three people were hospitalized for one night because of severe symptoms. The restaurant reopened Saturday, following a voluntary shutdown Friday. Workers replaced food and sanitized equipment with a bleach solution. A Chipotle spokesman says there's no proof food was to blame and that the restaurant is working with the health department." -- Google News

HAHA dag Chipotle has their food poisoning game PROPER... broke, sick and fat is not what that is, kids!

Shame on you Vladmir...

See this is why I'm against marriage... he left his wife of 15 years for some flexible PYT...WHAT. Check him out with his "get like me" face... tsk tsk.

I want a semi-sleeve (shakes fist at Drea)...

eh... I think I'm too fickle to get a tattoo but if I weren't, I'd get something similar to these. Yopp.
Jazmine Sullivan...

I love the raspiness of her voice! She makes cracking sound good!

Was it necessary Jill...

Negro Please...

I like how he gives an account of John Lewis' beating during the 1965 Bloody Sunday march when Lewis is clearly an Obama supporter... I don't believe you, you need WAY more people... Show 'em how it's done, B:

Aight that's enough for today. Please pray I can be productive... OH and please pray that somehow the Heavens will open up and God will make it rain benjamins because funding my business will require nothing less than a miracle... YOP!

PEACE

LOL And A Tattoo

2008-04-17T00:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah it's unoriginal but it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm still doing homework so my creativity is at zero... But this is one of the many reasons why I LOVE Ms. Badu:

"If you could get you a new scalp... wear glitter and a beeper"

AND I am hecka geeked that He Say She Say might be performing on the GITD tour. Their single "Crash Dummie" had to grow on me but it was all in my head yesterday and I didn't mind it being there so it can't be half bad. But Drea, the lead singer, has this tat that I wanna get as soon as I can think of a place to put it... maybe on my shoulder like her:

But yeah... it's a thought. Dood I gotta watch what I spend my money on... I just got paid last Friday and I only got $40 till next Friday...and my cell phone bill is due... DAG! I need to get up, get out and get somethin (like my own business)

PEACE

I Wanna Be Like Her When I Grow Up!

2008-04-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

Kesh

Yeah, she's younger than me... what's your point? I like her because she's an example of what it means to know your calling and live in it, something that I hope to do in this lifetime. The girl is gifted... watch.

And on a side note DOOOOOOOOD this semester cannot be over soon enough! Wait... on one hand, I like being around my friends and not worrying about working full time and whatnot but on the other hand I'm really anxious to start earning money to put towards getting my business endeavor up and running. It's at the point that I spend more time working on my business plan than I spend on doing my homework, like seriously. To some that may mean that my priorities are out of wack, but I am keeping my sights on the long term so they can't be that disarray... whatever. Conya Doss is the business.

Smile Again

Stay

Oh and Algebra Blessett... DOPE!!

OKAY wait one more...ERRO's Def Ears... quite possibly one of THE BEST live performances I've ever heard... HOT FIYA haha!

See... it's stuff like this that let's me know that I am GROWING UP. This sounds like something my momma would've listened to when I was younger. At least I'm finally coming to grips with my adulthood... be happy for me. PEACE

I Love This Guy And Everything But...

2008-04-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am just now realizing how adorable Matthew Santos is...

Matthew... LLAMAME lol!

Rising Down: Roots Crew @ UT

2008-04-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

Forty Acres Fest is one of the many reasons why I love my school. This year the Roots came down and performed a few dope tracks (the year before last Common came through and tore it up) and the crowd seemed to love them. We even got them to do an encore. But yeah below are some vids of their performances... man, first the Roots and next the Glow In The Dark Tour. TOO hype...

Cover of Bob Dylan's Masters of War

Encore/The Seed

You Got Me

I Will Not Apologize

They also played this song as their outro and I've had it on repeat ever since.

Dope. PEACE

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T Do You Know What Means?!

2008-04-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

So I got another one of those off days because I have some kind of sickness that makes my head feel 10 pounds heavier and my muscles stiffen up. I wonder if this is how it feels before one spontaneously combusts. But anyhoo, this day off has left much needed time for reflection on my life goals, my spirituality and other general ish. Yeah, I think on my off days... what? I'm supposed to watch Tyra reruns all day or somethin'? I apparently blog too.

But yeah. I've recently come to the realization that I hate having bosses. Like, with a passion. I hate the micromanagement of it all, the imposed control of when to wake up, when to go home and when to eat, and of course the limited pay. After listening to several people who claim that the only way to financial freedom is through having your business, I have decided that I want to go into business for myself. No, I have no clue what I'm doing, but I do know what I want to go into business for. I think it's best that I keep that endeavor under wraps because I just disclosed my plans to my mother and received an underwhelming response :/. But I guess that's just how mothers are... they can't see the success in any career that isn't in medicine, law or academia until it actually shows up. So I am willing to pray, fast, and even come out of pocket for my dreams... who knows, God might actually think this is a great idea too.

The She-man Marriage Haters Club.

I have also been thinking about marriage. For years now I have been so preoccupied with who my future husband will be that I don't even want to get married anymore. How did it get to this point? Well, after several disappointments and the observance of several failed marriages, I have come to the conclusion that marriage is a virtually wack concept. Now, there will be those who will argue that I feel this way because I haven't met "Mr. Right" yet, and they may be right. But as of now, I'm adopting Robert "Grandpa" Freeman's point of view and claiming, "I'm against marriage." As I spent time thinking about the pros and cons of marriage, I discovered that with a husband I have to split my time and money, move around the country if he gets a job that causes him to relocate, and also run the risk of spawning more people dependent on me. I got dreams, man, DREAMS... marriage seems ideal for settled people who don't count money as an issue. Now if there could be some kind of arrangement where I can have a perpetual boyfriend and have it viewed as acceptable in God's sight, that would be perfect. I mean, we wouldn't live together (which I think is a great idea), we wouldn't be all up in one another's personal space ALL THE TIME, and we could see each other only when we wanted to. The idea of coming home to some dude demanding dinner every night just doesn't seem OK to me. But hey, maybe with age comes wisdom, but I think that it's pretty wise for me right now to not rush into being in a relationship for the sake of being somebody's wife. I'm confident enough in myself to not need validation from a guy (man that sounds feminist...). It's also taken me some time to actualize my inner cuteness, and I like the fact that I can share my cuteness with the world and not have to conceal it because some guy is so insecure that he wants me to tone it down. Nawsuh!

The Wonderful World of Moral Convictions.

With this reflection on marriage, I wondered if it was wrong for me to be against marriage. But Paul (a biblical prophet and one of Jesus' disciples) claimed in 1 Corinthians 7:1 that "it is good for a man not to marry" because marriage isn't for everyone. Hey, I might be one of those people! But enough talk about marriage. I've been thinking about other moral convictions. For example, just because I like to listen to secular music and I like to go out and party from time to time I set myself up for judgment. To be honest, there is some gospel rap out there that's dope, but it just doesn't appeal to me on the same level as say Lupe or Kanye or The Roots. Does this mean that God is not in me? I try my hardest to be pleasing in God's sight and there is nothing that I fear worst than disappointing my Lord and Savior. Yes, from time to time I struggle with lust and profanity amongst other things but I am trying. Also, judgment ensues whenever I converse with homosexuals and non-Christians. It says in the Bible that Jesus interacted with individuals such as these. If I'm condemned for showing love to another Child of God, then go ahead and condemn me. There are ways to hate the sin and love the sinner. But I digress, I think I'm starting to feel better so now I have to be productive.

I'll holla... PEACE

FYI: I Want A Nose Ring

2008-04-06T23:53:00.000-07:00

But then I saw this ish...

Heck to the no... PEACE

[Blows Dust Off Of Blog]

2008-04-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

Sooo... I haven't been on Blogspot in so long that I actually forgot my login info. But hey, that happens when you're a senior in college with two jobs and an officer in a sorority. Is it really April? Where is my life GOING?

Anyhoo, this past Easter I officially broke my fast of sweets and Lupe Fiasco.

March 23rd, 2008 @ 12:45 P.M.: Ate chocolate bar while listening to "The Coolest"

March 23rd, 2008 @ 12:50 P.M.: Realized I really hadn't missed that much.

I still like Lu's music and I'll always love chocolate, but Lent showed me that I'm really able to do without these things. I think I also got spoiled by all the comments that I appeared to be losing weight due to the amount of sweets that I wasn't consuming. MAN, that's all you had to say! So now I'm going on another personal fast with my friend for another 40 days. We'll see how that goes [side eye].

But I'm still hecka geeked about The GLOW IN THE DARK TOUR which is a little under a month away. Oh, and UT just hosted The Roots during Forty Acres Fest (our annual student organization festival) and I'm still geeked up about that (pics & vids coming soon)... yup, doing the most in 2008!

Now I can only hope that the Lord will have grace by allowing me to graduate on time... back to the books I go. More later...

Oh and I am really feeling this song... I wonder what his story is. PEACE

Real Talk!

2008-03-12T17:48:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised at how accurate this is.

http://stuffeducatedblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com/

Does this make me bourgeoisie (that is SO like the hardest word to spell)?

PEACE

Glee!!! Or Should I Say Glow?

2008-03-08T20:05:00.000-08:00

LOL @ "Kayne West"...

But yeah! I finally got my ticket to 'Ye's Glow In The Dark Tour and I am so hype.

I hope he performs:

1. Bittersweet
2. Bring Me Down
3. Hey Mama (2008 Grammy Remix)
4. Us Placers

We shall see. April 30... It's goin DAHN.

PEACE

Worth Watching!

2008-03-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

BET's "Bid 'Em In." When I first saw this I was flabbergasted, I didn't know what to do with myself...

"What? BET is showing something positive?! WHOA! It MUST be the end times..."

But seriously, this is a very powerful commentary on the slave trade. What made me even more excited was that I saw it during the afternoon so there is a chance that some of these young kids saw it too. It's dope... tragic, but dope...

And speaking of tragic...

One of my favorite pubescent groups of all times DRU HILL made an appearance on this radio talk show and acted a doggone fool. Word on the curb is that everything was staged but ultimately this just might be a pathetic attempt to assimilate back into the music industry. In the words of another one of my favorite rappers: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE... I still got love for y'all though.

PEACE

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

2008-03-08T19:27:00.000-08:00

Like anyone cares! But anyhoo, these are things that I have pretty much changed my life in some way, shape or form.

Texas Football. Every time I hear the Texas fight song... I cry a little bit.

My razr. I've had it for about two years and it's pretty durable, considering that it's been without a battery door the whole time.

L'Oreal High Intensity Pigments! Finally... makeup products that don't seep into my skin and become invisible within an hour's time. I'm a total junkie -- I own H.I.P.'s foundation, eyeshadows, eyeliner and lip gloss and I love them all.

Garnier-- boy I was SHOCKED to discover that Garnier works a lot better on my natural hair than all of these other ethnic products (as they're called in CVS). Especially their soft curl cream... man that stuff is crack for the scalp!

Dial soap... keeping you germ free since 1948!

The Bible Experience. I love to listen to this right before bed... but they know they were wrong for casting Blaire Underwood to be the voice of Jesus. They should not have that fine specimen planting seeds of lust in the hearts of vulnerable women when they should be focused on the Word of God... now I'm not saying that I'm one of those women... but if I were, I'm just sayin' though... STOP JUDGING ME!

Adobe Creative Suite 3 Design Premium. MAN this is stuff is expensive but it'll be worth it when I want to get my graphic design on. Since I'm a broke college student, I'm on a savings plan so that I can own it someday.

My Ipod Nano. In the words of one of my favorite rappers, "Wherever I go, it goes." Seriously, I'll remember my Ipod over my keys and wallet. I now know that I have to get my life together because I don't know how proud I am of that. BUT it was worth the investment.

More later... PEACE

Yezzir

2008-03-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

I love The Roots, especially ?uestlove. Dude is a BEAST on the drums, mayne... I'm trying to get on his level HAHA! Anyhoo, while making my rounds on Okayplayer, I discovered ?uest's take on a song by another group I absolutely adore, Gnarls Barkley.

Simple, yet raw. I love it when one of my fave artists syncs to the music of my other fave artists. Speaking of rawness...

75 BARS!!! DOPE!! But dag, Riq G's... did you really have to pour gas in his mouth like that, though?

And... I'm still flyer than the rest of 'em...

Whoo... PEACE

Man, I Should Never Have Another Off Day... Like... Ever

2008-03-02T23:43:00.000-08:00

Man. This senioritis business ain't no joke... today was my first off day in a while where I had no imposed obligations to school, work or meetings and I took ADVANTAGE of it. I had plans though mayne... a to-do list and everything... it went something like this:

STUFF I HAVE TO DO TODAY, MARCH 2, 2008:

1) Go to Church

2) Catch up on readings for class

3) Attempt to finish at least one of the journals due Thursday

Instead... it went down a little something like this:

STUFF I ACCOMPLISHED TODAY, MARCH 2, 2008:

1) Woke up at 1:30 P.M. and missed Church

2) Reminisced over birthday cards my dad sent me when I was 15

3) Went to HEB with my mama

4) Killed time on Youtube and Blogger

5) Wondered when all this bull[sic]ing is going to bite me in the butt

But it wasn't a total waste... today I began considering adopting my father's last name. My parents were married when I was born but after they divorced I was given the opportunity of taking my mother's maiden name and I did so (I was 8). After my dad passed in '03 I felt like I lost an important connection forever and this might be my way to re-establish it to some extent. I have his sister's (my aunt) address and I've been considering contacting her to gain insight on who my father really was... another reason to stop bullin' I guess...

Man I need to go read a book or somethin'. I feel so triflin'.

Oh and this is a pretty dope vid... Zoe Kravitz is a dope heroin addict and the cinematography is great. "How could you deny me so vehemently?" He betta use a triple score word. Go Jigga.

Until next time... PEACE

You, Plies, Are The Motivation For My Education.

2008-02-28T22:54:00.000-08:00

While getting my daily dose of irrelevant celeb info on Crunk & Disorderly, I stumbled across THIS.

** WARNING: Explicit Content **

Y'all when I saw this I almost CRIED. Even with the unthinkable being aired on television nowadays, I still can't comprehend the possibility of a show like this being produced. What kind of world are we living in when women are beckoned to show their thongs and give explicit oral sex techniques for the opportunity to be crowned a "Bust It Baby?" What got me the most was that there were BLACK WOMEN on a panel telling other black women to pull down their trousers and reveal their undergarments. Damn, I don't mean to sound cliche but whatever happened to uplifting one another and reiterating the fact that ALL women are queens? Images such as these are becoming too commonplace and it is for this reason that I am going to finish school just so I can be a presence that counteracts what is unfortunately becoming the status quo... is this what they are expecting of us? Is this all that we are... butt-shakin' cocksuckers?! I THINK NOT. It is my prayer that I can help at least one woman realize the value that she has. Women (especially Black women) are historically strong beings... we've been graced to overcome the seemingly impossible! So WHY are we acting like THIS. Man, I swear I'm so heated right now that I can't even compose my thoughts... instead of judgment, they need prayer. Lord, Have Mercy On Us All.

PEACE.

And Again... E-Thuggin'

2008-02-28T13:49:00.001-08:00

Another waste of time. If you can't say something nice over the internet, conceal your e-gangsta for a more appropriate time... like when you have the opportunity to discuss your issues in person. Will Hatcher makes some funny videos... like this one where he portrays the classic Internet Thug (you know the type: loud as a motorbike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight). Funny ish mayne!

"Don't make me send you a virus, punk!" PEACE

The 'No Homo' Phenomenon...

2008-02-28T13:29:00.000-08:00

...is stupid. If you wanna compliment somebody of the same sex, just do it; nobody's gonna question your sexuality. Unless you're like the dude in this video...

No what's "homo" is sayin' "no homo" all the dang time... oh and Gangstalicious...

Let it marinate. PEACE

On That Independent Ish... Trade It All For A Husband And Some Kids...

2008-02-23T23:09:00.001-08:00

The other day I was listening to Kanye's "I Wonder" and that song struck me in more ways than one. I SO hope that 'Ye performs this on his tour. This track is quite possibly one of my fave tracks ever just because of this one line:

"On that independent [ish]... trade it all for a husband and some kids/ you ever wonder what it all really mean/ you wonder if you'll ever find your dreams..."

And that's just how I've been feeling as of lately. I've been wondering if I'll ever find my dreams. My worst fear is that I'll never actualize them because I devoted all of my time and energy to what other people feel is the certified path to success: years and years of school. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to graduate school, but I would hate to think that's the only way to make money in something that I actually ENJOY doing. I plan on attending school for social work, but my passion lies in journalism and graphic design and I would love to capitalize on that. So yeah. I'll just keep praying that it's in God's Will for me to do what I love and that whatever "that" is pleases Him. I am also finding that my views on marriage and motherhood are shifting... I can remember when I was so preoccupied with being a wife and mother that I felt that if those things didn't happen for me, I was a failure. Now I'm trying to avoid those things like the plague. I now realize that once I acquire "dependents", it stops being about me and what I wanna do and all about them and what they need me to be. WOW that sounds selfish. But hey, that's just how I'm feeling. I think that when love is near, God will allow my heart to be receptive to it, ya dig? But until then, steady on the griiind...

And another thing...

1) Shame on you, Hillary... how fair is it that you attack Barack on every little thing, in addition to making the serious allegation that the brotha plagiarizes ("It's not change you can believe in, it's change you can Xerox"? C'mon now), and then have the nerve to get an attitude when he returns the favor?

You could've earned back some of the 153 cool points you lost by doing the Yung Joc and rapping, "Meet me in Ohio... It's going down."

2) Bruce Lee... take that HAHA!

3) Another case of lyrical tomfoolery.

4) I love her voice.

5) I'm out... PEACE

Et Tu, Chipotle?

2008-02-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

So after a weekend of vomiting, I'm feeling much better. I spent a little extra time at the J.O. yesterday so I decided to grab a bite to eat from what was once my favorite restaurant on the face of the planet: Chipotle.

Now, you would think that since Chipotle had a reputation for food poisoning I would steer clear of it, but no. They must lace those things with crack because I faithfully pay my $6.06 for a chicken fajita burrito regularly. WELL. It was all good until later that night when my stomach staged a revolt and everything that went down came right back up. I had to call in sick to work because I had a stomach virus! I'm just thankful that I decided against staying the night at my friend's house because I would've acted out all night trying not to make a scene in her bathroom. TMI? Well, you read it... I still love you though...

I also took it upon myself to check out the nutritional information for a regular Chipotle burrito and THIS is what I found...

Dag! How Chipotle gon' make me sick, broke AND fat? Aww HECK naw... I can't fool with that n'mo.

More later...for real this time. PEACE

I Like SO Want Janelle Monae To Be My New Best Friend.

2008-02-22T00:05:00.000-08:00

I love diversified eclectic music and this is exactly what she is... SO dope. When I heard about her song "Violet Stars, Happy Hunting" I was kinda like,

"Cyborgs and Outer Space? Uh..."

But it's actually live, it's creative and I can always appreciate originality. Her songs "Sincerely, Jane" and "You" are the business. Word on the curb is that she just signed to Bad Boy...yeah... I still don't know how I feel about that but she's got star quality! And plus she has natural hair so she automatically earns 10 cool points.

More later... PEACE

No, I Don't Know What I'll Be Doing After Graduation. Please Stop Asking.

2008-02-17T11:53:00.000-08:00

I can understand that everyone is excited about my graduation in May. But, for the sake of my mental health, PLEASE STOP ASKING WHAT I'LL BE DOING AFTER I GRADUATE. With college degrees counting for nothing more than a high school diploma these days, your guess as to where I'll be is as good as mine. So... as I prepare myself for what awaits me after I cross the stage, just be thankful that I didn't drop out a long time ago and move into the basement of my momma house.

"I'm 52!" yep... that's just how I'm feeling. In other news...

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!

Today I was receiving my usual Sunday afternoon dose of America's Next Top Model on MTV. Little did I know that I was about to be TEMPTED. During one of the breaks aired a commercial that featured a man and woman flirting in some sort of Casablanca type bar. I was oblivious to what was happening until I noticed that the guy looked kinda familiar. I actually didn't put 2 & 2 together until I saw that the woman had tattoos on her chest and glowing green eyes...

"Oh no! It's Lupe! Change it change it change it!" pleaded my mind.

As you probably already know, I'm fasting sweets and all things Lupe Fiasco for Lent this year. So when I stayed and watched how the commercial played out, I was reminded how weak the flesh is. It extends beyond watching a Lupe Fiasco commercial when I shouldn't have, but it is more or less a reminder that we are weak mortals dependent upon the grace of God to save us. Fasting is an appeal to God for intervention and revelation as opposed to a bet that we can abstain from our favorite things for 40 days and nights. Hmm... cool for thought (dag!).

And this past week surely was one of those weeks where I needed to blast "The Coolest" while eating a slice of warm homemade apple pie with a scoop of buttered pecan ice cream on the top. But nevertheless, God brought me through it and now it's time for round 36 of the incessant school and work grind. But just remember...

April 30...

It's goin' DAHN... PEACE

Round 2... Happy Singles Awareness Day!

2008-02-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

Yes ladies and gents, Valentine's Day is among us... please enjoy my favorite ode to this day of love and loneliness. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with :-]

Oh and check out Janelle Monae -- She's dope.

Besos... PEACE

What The Hell Is A Dougie

2008-02-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

So while listening to the radio yesterday I stumbled upon another instance of musical tomfoolery: "My Dougie." Being from Texas, you're liable to hear just about anything that may be remotely catchy with a matching dance. Usually I'm supportive of a little 2step, but I had to draw the line at this one right here. This reminds me of the dance that the BORED girls do at the club when they're song comes on.

Man... the ish that comes out of Dallas... I apologize to the guys in this video. I don't mean to blast y'all, but you did put it on the internet...

Remember when you needed STAMINA to dance?

*sigh*... Is a Change Evah Go' Come?

By now you've probably figured out that I'm a YouTube junkie. Stop judging me and enjoy this hilarious commentary on the ills of society... oh I was DYING when I heard this one. Until next time...

Dread That Nappy Ish Up, Throw A Shell In It...

2008-02-10T23:21:00.000-08:00

So... I have this Natural hair... and it's really thick right... so last night I took some locking gel, my fingers, and about 3.5 hours of my precious time and installed a head full of starter dreads. DOOD when I looked in the mirror I was thoroughly impressed, they are so friggin' cute. BUT there is a potential dealbreaker: I miss my 'fro. It's not only taken a while for it to get to its present length but also for me to accept it. Granted, there are still people who assume that I'm militant or making some sort of political statement by wearing my hair in its natural state, but in all honesty I stopped perming my hair because after 20 years of chemicals, hair dye, pressing irons and constant combing it just couldn't take it anymore. I also felt that I was trying to hide something (namely my roots) everytime I rushed to the beauty supply to purchase a relaxer. I do have that appreciation for what God gave me, though, and I truly feel that this is how I am supposed to rock my hair... it's pretty dope. But back to the dreads. So far they're being held in positive regard by people I come in contact with. But ultimately...it's my head...and my image... so I just might listen to the still, small voice which screams, "Locs?! RIIIIIGHT..."

In other news, I'M GOING TO GRADUATE. I'm not saying this out of arrogance, but determination. This semester's particularly tough and I don't think it's a coincidence that it just so happens to be my last semester in college. So yeah... despite what financial aid and all these professors who insist on administering lethal amounts of homework, projects and exams say...I'm gon' get my degree! HAHA! And out of respect for those who had to fight for African Americans to have an equal opportunity at a decent and fair education, back to studying I go boi...

And, oh, one more thing. Nikki Jean has some really dope music. Kinda makes me wanna go bike riding on a warm sunny day. Check it out... PEACE

What A World For The Lonely Girl.

2008-02-08T00:16:00.000-08:00

Man I wanna go on a date. It's been A MINUTE since my last boyfriend. I miss the whole "love" feeling... y'know the long talks on the phone, having someone call you "baby" or "sweetie", having that same person look at you and smile in that special flirtacious way. I think it all has something to do with the fact that I'm really not interested in being a wife and mother anytime soon, or maybe it's because I'm something of a commitment phobe (not out of infidelity but independence). I just want a boyfriend at this point in life. D'oh well, I've waited 22 years for Mr. Right to come along, I suppose I can wait longer if that's in God's Will, ya dig. And oh yeah, love doesn't really suck... it's actually kinda wonderful; it only sucks when there's nobody to be in love with. Lily Allen knows how it is.

But yeah, just a late night rant. I'll holla... PEACE

Riding the Wave of Change, Mayne...

2008-02-05T13:06:00.000-08:00

So this morning I woke up, all bright eyed and bushy tailed and whatnot, and discovered that despite my efforts to break the stereotype that Black kids don't go to class, I slept through my first class of the morning. DANG. BUT do you think that got me down? Of course not... after the expletives quieted in my mind I hopped out of bed EAGER to cast my ballot for the one and only Barack Hussein Obama as the 44th president of the grand(iose) United States of America...

[insert cheers and wild applause here.]

IMAGINE MY DISAPPOINTMENT as I approached the would-be voting facilities with my registration card in hand and learned that Texas wasn't included in Super Tuesday... we have to wait a whole month until March 4th. WHAT. Dag, and I was amped to ride the wave of change, dood... but still sí se puede ya dig? I can only pray that Bushie Baby doesn't decide to push the button in his attempts to "go out with a bang"...

And another thing.

I kinda miss my childhood. You know, before the days of debt, obscene amounts of homework and studying, and reality TV. In May I'm scheduled to receive this splenderifous degree from a fairly reputable university, but I have no clue what I'ma do with it... when I think about being in the workforce next year, I get depressed! Man, I pray everynight that I won't be led into a job that I only do for a paycheck; I wanna enjoy my life! There are days that I just wanna be lazy y'know... just go fly a kite or somethin' w/ pedal-pushers on ya dig. Now if I could get paid for just doin' me, that would be some of the most ballinest ish to ever happen on the face of tha planet, mang...

Until next time... PEACE

Cool For Thought: Lent Starts Wednesday

2008-02-04T17:04:00.000-08:00

Now ain't Lent for them Catholics? Well, I'm not Catholic anymore but in Christianity fasting is fasting so I'm participating. I figure if Jesus could sacrifice his comfort on a cross I can sacrifice sweets and Lupe Fiasco, ya dig? This year I might fast during Ramadan... complete with the five daily prayers and all. Why? 'Cos I think that a lot of people who claim to practice one of the three larger monotheistic faiths have a tendency to judge one another without learning about what makes us so "different." Of course I'll be praying to Jesus but hey... how are you gonna understand a culture without immersing yourself in it (even if it's just a wee bit). But we'll see how that goes. On a lighter note...

...I'm really feelin' this song.

Man, She Sick Wit It... Literally.

2008-02-03T23:18:00.000-08:00

I have a head cold and I'm kinda miserable. Nonetheless, this is the inaugural post of this fantabulously unnecessary impetus of my boredom! Will it be visited by the masses? Will it help change the world? DO YOU EVEN CARE? All this and more revealed on the next episode of 'Uhm, Yeah Whateva' !!!